Sunday, 31 May 2015

I didn't know where to look!

When I saw the words at Sunday Scribblings 2 my mind went back to something that happened a couple of years ago. I mustn’t be too graphic for fear of upsetting the more prudish among us! Let me think......hmmm...Ok, off we go.

It was late and I was walking home on my own. Going down the empty main street I heard this little voice coming from an alley. ‘Help’ it squeaked. I say squeaked, but it was more of a whimper. So, I had a peek.

Hidden in the darkness I could just make out a supermarket shopping trolley with someone sitting in it! ‘Help’ said the little voice.

Well, I couldn’t leave him/ her, so I tugged it out into the street. Blimey! I had to avert my gaze. Well, almost avert my gaze because it was a naked man! Starkers! One of his ankles was handcuffed to the trolley handle. I tried not to laugh, but I couldn’t stop myself!

I couldn’t free him without the key. He obviously didn’t have it because he didn’t have any pockets to put it in! I got him to stand up in the trolley and cling onto a lamppost, and I gave him my coat to put on. Now he was quite tall and I’m quite short so certain bits of him continued to put in an appearance beneath the hem of my coat - at eye level!

Anyway, he told me it was his stag night and it was his best man’s idea of a joke. ‘It’s not funny at all’ I said almost wetting myself trying not to start giggling again!

I helped him sit down again then pushed him back to his hotel and parked him in the lobby to the disgust of the night porter. Naked man thanked me and said he’d leave my coat with reception in the morning. I said I needed it right away, because it was cold. So the porter made him a cloak from a black plastic sack and I left and started texting my friends to tell them all about it!

I never saw him again. At least I don’t think I did. After all, I didn’t actually get to look at his face!


  1. Where Alice fears to go..Rosey boldly ventures ;)

  2. You must have some b***s to do that Rosey. Especially as he nearly gave you a peck(er) on the cheek. I suppose it is all part of a male ritual of humiliation before jubilation.