'A little self-deprecation does you good' someone once said. Can't remember who - actually I think it was me! Anyway, this is the tale of a recent night out with my mates which I was reminded of by this week's words at 3 Word Wednesday which are righteous, pathetic and sedate
“Oh my love, my darling, I’ve hungered for your touch....” he drones, looking straight at me from behind the mike stand. ‘Well, looks like you are going to starve mate’ I think to myself.
Quite why my friends and I go to karaoke nights at the Bicycle Arms I don’t know. The only performer that ever stands on the upturned beer crate and sings beautifully is me, and I don’t do that often because I feel guilty about showing the other would-be singers up.
"Time goes by so slowly...." he moans. Too right pal! The Righteous Brothers will be turning in their graves hearing this pathetic rendition of their gorgeous song, well two of them anyway, I think one's still going strong.
Last time I sang, I reduced my audience to tears – and they laughed at the same time, which was a bit odd. The time before, I sang a soothing song at a sedate pace and several of my admirers sat with closed eyes, soaking up my beautiful tones. When I finished, there was a stunned silence, only broken by my mate Jack’s gentle snoring.
He's still going. “Lonely rivers flow, to the sea, to the sea....” I feel like offering to lend him my water wings so he can swim off straight away!
Phew, he's finished at last. I wonder who will be next?
“Rosey” shouts the landlord.
“Ro-sey, Ro-sey, Ro-sey” the crowd roars.
“Oh well, if you insist!” I say to my adoring fans, as my so-called best friends rush for the door.