I've got a wedding invitation!

I’ve just received a wedding invitation! Over the last few years I’ve been to lots of weddings. Trouble is so many couples seem to go from being fun loving party animals to rather dull duos who enjoy nothing more than a night in beside the telly with a nice cup of tea and a bourbon biscuit.

I have of course, become an expert in the duties of the Bridesmaid and the....wait for it.... Matron of Honour! Me a matron! Wooo! And I every time I perform my role my Father says the same thing ‘Miss Rosemary Pinkerton, always the bridesmaid never the bride’.

Most of the nuptials take place in damp dark grey walled churches where a bored looking vicar spouts the usual stuff about obeying and procreating children. And almost without fail a nervous friend of the couple will go to lectern and read a piece from the bible And it’s always the same bit – Corinthians Chapter 13 which goes  like ‘love is patient, love is kind, is not jealousies, not pompous, it is not inflated (beg pardon?) it is not rude (he-he!)

But the bit that makes me want to stamp my size eight on the floor is the bit which says’ When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things’.

Obviously I’m not a man, but it’s not that that makes me cross. You see, the thing is I still like to talk as a child as many of you are only too aware! I have no intention of putting away childish things - my Teddy stays exactly where it is! And when faced with a problem I find it much easier to work through it if I reason like a child. I have no problem with being a child and an adult at the same time. And ok, I admit it - I still suck my thumb when I go to bed. If all that has to go, then marriage 'aint for me!

So, back to the invitation. It’s for Saturday June the sixth and I can take a friend. Anyone want to come?

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