Saturday, 14 November 2015

The Maintenace Man v Me

At this week's Whirligig the words are tongue, fingernail, flare, friends, poor, window, shack, round, smoke, war, overalls and grimy

I broke my kitchen window. How? Well, last night I had some friends round and....never mind, it’s a long story.

So, broken window. I call the caretaker chappy downstairs, and he calls the maintenance man up from the cellar.

He's knocking on my door. In he comes – woo, don’t come near me in your grimy overalls.

Out come his tools. Tip-tap, tip-tap then f*** as he tip-taps his finger. Blimey, look at those filthy fingernails. Gross. Tip-tap, tip-tap, tip-tap and out comes the busted pane.

Now what’s he doing? Hey, put those away, you can’t smoke in here! Honestly, whatever next? Just can’t get the staff these days.

I am not a happy bunny. I’m holding my tongue for fear of flaring up (nice bit of ‘falliteration’!)

Now to add insult to injury, he’s trodden on poor Fuzzybut’s tail. Poooor Fuzzy, are you okay sweetie?

(Talk amongst yourselves for a few minutes, I'm leaving him to it and grabbing a Fuzzy a treat, and me a coffee)

Hallelujah! He’s actually finished fitting a shiny new bit of glass. Don’t worry, I’ll clear up the bloody mess.

Right, he’s gone. I must go too because I want have a word with the caretaker chappy downstairs about that maintenance man. See yourself out. Bye!


  1. Men in basements never rank amongst the world's desirables - I'd stick with Mr Fuzzy pets are the best :)

  2. It is bad enough to have an odd stranger in the house but worse if he is uncouth as well. I'd leave the caretaker for another time as the maintenance man is probably talking to him about you now!